I'm still thinking about my dead baby too! [04 Nov 2005|01:22pm] And it is the end, of a Gallery500 era... It might as well be the factory closing all over again. My birthday is in 6 days. 3| (+/-)

in tact. [24 Oct 2005|01:46pm] [ mood | bored ] Capote was great. For all of you keeping tabs on me, things are o.k. and I am still here. 6| (+/-)

No pun intended [01 Aug 2005|11:25pm] [ mood | LOOPY ] [ music | FINALLY! ] I spent the last 5 days in a mental institution, for the sane and emotionally challenged. I missed work, my fiance's departure, my make up, my friends, and my father. Hell, I feel like I missed a whole decade of my life. And now I am hopped up on all kinds of medication. buspirone prozac lithium zyprexa and this is who I am now, a "pill popper". Oh! the insanity... (+/-)

marriagelife isfor thebirds [22 Jul 2005|02:56pm] [ music | itchy and scratchy ] completelunacy lastnight sundaynight phonecall tomissesmommy. boughtatoyfor ediththetot nothereyet, somedaysoon... (+/-)

This child in me. [05 Jul 2005|09:48pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | belle and sabastein- fox in the snow ] And you didn't say it back, but they have never said it back. And I hate to compare, but you don't so much contrast. never say it first, girls. becuase they boys will do you wrong, they always do me wrong. 2| (+/-)

seriously. [28 Jun 2005|01:33am] [ mood | fired ] [ music | frou frou ] I got fired, after I put my two weeks in against my will. At least there will be no more of this, "I can't be out late, have to work early in the morning", sort of ness. at least. and there better be some un-employment. anybody know of a good/ cheap lawyer? seriously. (+/-)

gross. [22 Jun 2005|08:35pm] [ mood | breakfast food. ] empty mailbox. 1| (+/-)

enough of this [18 Jun 2005|09:52pm] [ mood | still sunlight out ] [ music | smashing pumpkins- tonight tonight. ] the foot stomping begins. and no, i don't care that the store just opened, and i don't care that i appear to be a gigantic dork for buying the penguin shaped gummy chews to release my sexual tension. i've got shit to do. and i'll be there next tuesday morning, too. deal with it. but i've also got this headache. it's coming to me. in eyeshadow and lipgloss ware. whoever you are. i miss you, illinois. i've not heard from you in weeks. i keep praying hail mary's for your faithlessness [in life]. i want to put my fingers in your mouth and remember your gestures i've begun to forget. i like the way my lungs sigh inside these tobacco-heavy days. this headache. time to pick myself up again. time to lay in bed even though i'm not tired. time to re-build your frame out of blurry photos and memories of black pants scents. i won't leave the house until the mail has come. that first poem i wrote you was one of my best. come back. don't go away. (+/-)

Anything and trinkets! [16 Jun 2005|05:38pm] [ mood | needy ] If you people want, if you people even read this journal-ish internet "thing" please send me things in the mail, to further and/or support my recovery! miss elysa gale 13856 se. 97th ave. clackamas, or 97015 please. (+/-)

shot myself an hour ago. [16 Jun 2005|05:36pm] [ mood | clear headed. ] I am still sad, this medication EDIT: these medications, are not working...yet... Go watch "Closer" it's a good movie. I think. (+/-)

weight gain city: next sop. [21 May 2005|11:30pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | air- surfing on a rocket. ] Everybody knows somebody who knows some body, who knows somebody- and I am so sick of hearing about it all. Wednesday I start my "cocktail" medication routine. I will be on prozac for the "whole" of my chemical imbalance. Trazadone for my anxiety and insomnia. And becuase the prozac will cause manic episodes I will be on, last but not least, lithium- to control the mood swings and diminish the manic episodes. my life and thought process is about to change profoundly. you'll all have to come to visit in a few months, and meet the new and improved me! 2| (+/-)

(?) [18 May 2005|05:41pm] [ music | Bloc Party- track 5 ] if it can be broken than it can be fixed and so I'M IN CONTROL I'M IN CON- TROL. I'M_IN_C_O_N_T_R_O_L________. (+/-)

3 a.m. [30 Apr 2005|03:54am] [ mood | S.O.L. ] Next time, call somebody who has a car. it might work out to your advantage. 2| (+/-)

edit- [25 Apr 2005|03:09am] [ music | gwen stephani- rich girl ] to that last entry... if anyone has a floor or couch i could crash on, it would much appreciated; my current homesituation is not a safe or healthy one for that matter. thanks. (+/-)

cry wolf? [24 Apr 2005|06:47pm] [ mood | alone ] [ music | belly- un-together ] i guess jonny was right, all those things he used to say- all those times he would yell to me, that i am the most selfish, most self- destructive person he has ever met, that i couldn't ever be a lover, that i could never possibly really, truely, love some one with all my heart. that i will never be a part of bettering you, bettering me, bettering you- or anyone for that mater... i guess all those things that jonny and my dad used to throw at me were true. i spent the sunniest day, in months, inside of 4different hospitals. and tomorrow,i will be in 2 more. i am not in a good place right now. i would rally love someone to spend some of their time with me, if they can squeeze me into their busy life. any one? any one? ...some one... 1| (+/-)

now what? [20 Apr 2005|12:48am] [ music | where is patrick when i need him? ] ...and three nights ago, we were having sex, for five hours, continuously. (+/-)

it's been long- [20 Apr 2005|12:45am] [ mood | dead ] [ music | lisa lobe and the nine stories- stay ] I sure walked into the scene... I think my boyfriend tried to kill himself last night, and today he has been missing. I have to call the hospitals now. what a selfish motherfucker. if anybody is going to fuck themeselves in my relationships it is going to be me! (+/-)

you don't fill me up the same. [28 Mar 2005|12:58am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | the robots ate me- tea time. ] I've got my million dollar contract, and I have no idea what I have been waiting for?! There are plenty of men clouser to my own age, who do deserve me; and I have been making them compete with these boy-ish middle age asses who do not deserve me, not even my smile. What have I been making them wait for?! Welcome home dignity! (if I die with nothing more but you, i will remain sane...) 1| (+/-)

since I was a child. [23 Mar 2005|01:13pm] [ music | you're just like the rest of them ] I don't understand why everybody keeps going away from me. it hurts. (+/-)

swollen [21 Mar 2005|02:30pm] [ mood | sick ] and so goes the first car wreck! I have a minor head injury, a fractured clavical, and a fractured hand. no news yet on the car. 4| (+/-)

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]